LEARNING TO LIVE AGAIN

Good evening my wonderful friends and family. I know I've not shared with you nearly as much as I should. I apologize for that. Life has it's ways of side tracking all of us, I'm no exception. Many of you already know I"m back home, in my house in Arcadia. To be honest, I'm happy about that. I love my house, flaws and all. (it needs a lot of work) It's home. It's always been home to me. I grew up in this house from the time I was almost 3 years old. There are both good and bad memories here. But it's still home. This residence has been the hub of my family for many years, and I am truly blessed to be the owner of it now. In this place, there has been laughter and tears, joy and fear. We, this family, have always known it's the place to return to. I don't know why, and it really don't matter. What does matter is all of us can recognize there is a bond, a strength, a love that is powerful here. My mom was the pillar of this family. Yes, growing up with my parents was an experience I don't have a lot of fond memories of. But as an adult, things changed. As grandchildren arrived, another area of growth came along with it. Our children were adored by mom. Dad, though a quiet man who rarely spoke (and when he did it wasn't always pleasant), loved his grand kids, too. When I first purchased this property from my dad, I didn't know how well I would deal with the memories. I now have the master bedroom, a place that I was only allowed in as a child when I had permission to enter. It felt strange at first. I found that I couldn't set my bed in the same location that my parents had theirs. I still can't do it. But I'm making this my place of rest. And my bedroom has become my sanctuary, so to speak. It's my private space where I spend a lot of time. I've discovered since purchasing the place that my family is happy that this is the one place they always knew they could come to, and they're all glad I was able to buy it. In some ways, even though I'm not the oldest of my siblings, I've picked up the torch and I'm letting the light shine for all to come when they need refuge. This includes not only my children and grandchildren, but siblings, nieces and nephews, and even some of their friends. To be honest, I like it. It's where I belong. It's a position I'm supposed to have. Did I ask for it? No, not on your life. Who would have? It's a heavy load if you try to go it alone. But I don't go it alone. I have God helping me. You see, so many times in life we stand up and accept the cross we are to bare in life, then we try to do so alone. I'm here to tell you, from experience, don't do that. God's word states that He will never give us more then we can handle "with His help". We sometimes forget that last part. I know I have, more then once. Believe me, it's not worth it. In this life, I've endured many things, good and bad, and some were horrific things I wouldn't want an enemy to experience. Still, God has been there for me through every last bit of it. I've learned I can talk to God as a friend. He is my true Father, and He loves me unconditionally, faults and all. There was a time in my life I became very angry with God, blaming Him for something horrible that had happened. I went so far as to tell God that if He was real, to prove it. Needless to say, He did. Almost a year later, I looked back and, quite literally, saw where He had carried me. Talk about a wake up call! I was humbled. I was relieved, I was thankful. I was Daddy's girl. I know there are times in life that we just can't understand why something has happened, or why it still is happening. We don't get it how some things can spin so far out of control. My precious loved ones, don't turn away from God and think He's not hearing your prayers for help. He does hear you. He will either calm the storm or help you through it. We simply have to listen, not with our head, but with our hearts. Sometimes we are asked to do things that just don't make any sense. Do it anyway. There will be times when we are told that a certain journey we've been going through is finished. Don't hold onto it. Close that door and let go of the handle. You'll never know what's waiting for you if you keep holding onto the bolder that's holding you back from your happiness, your joy, and your peace. I went through some pretty horrifying experiences not so long ago and, believe me, I was overwhelmed. But I heard that still small voice tell me it was time to close that door and move on. I visualized letting go of the handle and walking away. I'm glad I let go. Life has a purpose and I feel very much alive for the first time in many years. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I know I'm heading in the right direction. I know new doors for a far better future will continue to open as long as I LISTEN to that still small voice and follow the leading of my Father. I'm far from perfect. But that's OK. None of us are perfect. And we're not expected to be. We're simply asked to do His will, and the rest will find it's own way. I know there are a lot of lonely, hurting, confused people in this world. Many are searching for answers they can't seem to find. Many simply want peace, sweet peace. The Only way you're going to find it is to keep moving forward, one step at a time. Learn from the past, but don't live there. I'm sure you don't want to keep going round and round, never getting out of a cycle in your life that seems to repeat itself all to often. I've learned that the only way to get past it, and to live life to the fullest is to face forward, take that step of faith and know that if you fall, you're either going to learn to fly or our Father is going to catch you. Take flight, my beloved friends and family. The view is amazing when we sore with the eagles. God bless you all. Know that I love you and I always, always, always pray for you and your loved ones. Goodnight.